Dear Sacred Mama,
In the quiet moments of these first days and nights, you and your baby are learning a beautiful new dance together: the dance of breastfeeding. This is a journey of patience, trust, and incredible connection. Your body, which so powerfully brought your baby into this world, knows exactly how to nourish them. My role is to whisper reminders of that wisdom and offer gentle guidance as you find your rhythm.
Be kind to yourself. This is a learned skill for both of you. You are doing a wonderful job.
Part 1: Trusting the Miracle – How Your Body Makes Milk
Understanding the magic of what is happening within you, will help you trust the process. Your body has been preparing for this since the middle of your pregnancy. It’s a perfect hormonal orchestra. My job is to protect your sacred space at birth so that this orchestra can unfold smoothly and uninterrupted.
- Your First Gift: Colostrum: In these first few days, your breasts produce a thick, golden milk called colostrum. It may seem like a small amount, but it is everything your baby needs. Think of it as a super-concentrated immune booster, packed with antibodies and protein—your baby’s first natural immunization.
- The Shift: After you birth your placenta, a hormonal signal is sent to your body to begin making a greater volume of milk. Around day 3 to 5, you may feel your breasts become fuller and heavier. This is your transitional milk “coming in.”
- The Let-Down: When your baby suckles, they send a message to your brain, which releases oxytocin (the hormone of love!). This causes your milk to “let down,” or flow. You might feel a tingling sensation, or you may not feel it at all. This is your body and baby working in perfect harmony.
All of this is happening without you needing to do anything at all except needing to trust. Like birth, the most helpful thing you can do to assist this process is to create a loving and supportive environment with decreased stress.
Part 2: The Art of the Latch – A Comfortable Connection
More than anything else, a comfortable latch is the key to a happy breastfeeding journey. It shouldn’t hurt. If there is pain, it’s a sign that we need to make a small adjustment.
What a Good Latch Looks and Feels Like:
- It Feels Like a Tug, Not a Pinch: You’ll feel a strong pulling sensation, but not a sharp, wince-inducing pain.
- A Big, Wide Mouth: Watch your baby’s mouth open wide like a little bird before they come onto the breast.
- Flanged Lips: Their top and bottom lips should be rolled out, not tucked in.
- More Areola on Top: You should see more of the dark area of your breast (areola) above your baby’s top lip than below their bottom lip.
- Rhythmic Swallowing: You’ll see their little jaw working and hear soft “kah” sounds as they swallow milk.
The Steps to the Dance:
- Get Comfortable First: Settle into your favorite chair with pillows all around you. Bring your baby up to the level of your breast, so you aren’t hunching over.
- Tummy to Tummy: Hold your baby close, with their belly facing yours.
- Tickle their Lip: Gently brush your nipple against their top lip to encourage them to open wide.
- Bring Baby to You: When their mouth is wide, bring them on swiftly and surely. Lead with their chin, aiming your nipple toward the roof of their mouth.
- Listen to Your Body: If it hurts, gently slide your clean pinky finger into the corner of their mouth to break the suction, and try again. It’s worth taking a moment to get it right.
Part 3: Finding Your Comfort – Breastfeeding Positions
There are no rules here, only what feels right for you. Don’t be afraid to try different positions.
- Cross-Cradle: This is my favorite for new parents. It gives you a free hand to support your breast and guide your baby.
- Football Hold: Tucking your baby under your arm can be a wonderful option, especially if you’ve had a cesarean birth.
- Side-Lying: For those quiet nighttime feeds, this is a gift. You and your baby can rest together while they nurse. Make sure your bed is a safe space, free from pillows and heavy blankets near the baby.
- Laid-Back Nursing: Simply recline, place your baby on your chest, and let gravity and their own instincts help them find their way. It’s beautiful to watch.
Part 4: “Is My Baby Getting Enough?” – Trusting the Signs
I know this is the biggest worry for every new mother. Since we can’t measure what the baby is taking, we look for other clear and reliable signs. It is safe to trust these signs and to trust that your baby knows how to communicate when they are getting enough.
- Diapers Are Your Best Friend: What goes in must come out. During the first few days of birth we are counting daily wet diapers, by the end of the first week the baby should be getting 6 wet diapers a day. The number of wet diapers tell us that baby is being adequately hydrated and therefore well fed.
- Your Baby’s Contentment: After a good feed, your baby will seem relaxed, maybe even a little “milk drunk.” Their hands will be open and relaxed, not clenched, and often they fall asleep. During the first few weeks eat, sleep and repeat is the life of most babies.
- Steady Weight Gain: It’s normal to lose a little weight at first, but we want to see them back at their birth weight by two weeks. I will bring my scale to every visit to reassure you. Tracking their weights will let us know they are being adequately nourished.
Part 5: Navigating Common Bumps in the Road
It is very common to face a challenge or two as breastfeeding is a learning curve, and both mothers and babies have to learn together. This is normal and it does not mean you are failing. It just means that you need support.
- If Your Nipples are Sore: This is almost always a sign of a shallow latch. Let’s work on it together. In the meantime, your own milk is the best healing balm. Express a little and let it air dry on your nipples.
- If Your Breasts Feel Overly Full (Engorgement): This often happens when your milk first comes in. The best solution is to feed your baby often. A warm compress before feeding can help the milk flow, and a cool compress after can soothe discomfort.
- If You’re Worried About Low Supply: Remember, your body makes milk on a supply-and-demand basis. The more milk that is removed, the more your body will make. The answer is almost always more baby-to-breast time. Let your baby nurse as often as they like. This is called “cluster feeding” and it is their natural way of boosting your supply. A physiologic reason for low-milk supply is very rare. If baby is desiring to nurse frequently but you still feel supply is low check in with your mental/emotional health and stress levels. How are you being supported or not being supported? Stress is the most common block for increased milk supply.
- If You Feel a Plugged Duct: This feels like a tender lump in your breast. The best remedy is warmth, gentle massage, and nursing, nursing, nursing. Try pointing your baby’s chin toward the lump as they feed to help drain that area.
- If You Feel Unwell (Mastitis): If you feel flu-like (fever, chills) and have a hot, red, painful spot on your breast, let me know. It’s important to rest and continue to empty the breast, but you may need an antibiotic.
Part 6: Pumping and Storing Your Milk
There may come a time when you want to pump, and for many working women that’s an important tool for flexibility. Here are the simple guidelines for storing that liquid gold.
- On the Counter: Up to 4 hours.
- In the Refrigerator: Up to 4 days.
- In the Freezer: For up to 6 months.
Remember to label your milk with the date. When you thaw it, use warm water, never a microwave. And always trust your nose—if it smells off, don’t use it.
Wise woman, you are strong, you are capable, and you are the perfect mother for your baby. Be patient, be present, and know that I am here to support you every step of the way. You are not alone.
In love and warmth,
Your Sacred Birth Midwife